Monday, July 16, 2012

My husband is gay

My husband is gay, and we've been married 25 years. It took a lot of pain and adjustment to be where we are now. His family knew this open secret - everyone except me, initially. I just knew I fell in love with this handsome, soft-spoken, well-dressed, rich single guy, and I thought I died and went to heaven. I was a probinsiyana with a very ambitious mother, and my parents-in-law couldn't have found a better match for their son than me.

We made all the noises befitting a young, newly married, good-looking couple in love. We had a big church wedding, a trip abroad for the honeymoon, and a baby within the first year. Our three children came in a row, which made my in-laws delirious. They all thought I had changed him. In three years, we've done our part as a married couple. My husband, that poor guy who had to fulfill a role, told me the truth and gave me the chance to escape to freedom. Or, as he suggested, keep up the pretense until one of us got sick of it. His honesty and kindness won me over, and we're still here.

We live in a beautiful house, attend parties as a couple and travel abroad with our kids - together. It's a given that he'd be going on "alone," attending to his other businesses later on. What is not known is we live separate lives. He has a little place he goes to for his dalliances. He tried hard not to be absent too much from home when the kids were growing up.

For my part, I've had my own flings, but few and far between - just enough to fill my own needs and not cause a scandal. I knew of the rumors circulating in our circle, but nothing flared up because we lived a simple and unpretentious life. Our children grew up in this kind of atmosphere, so we never had a problem.

The secret to our relationship could be that we never tried to change the other for anything. My husband is what he is, and I love him. Many will condemn our arrangement, but what of it? This is the life I've chosen.